I’ve been told that for every new beginning, there must be an ending. This, my friends, holds true. My ending occurred two weeks ago when I quit my full-time job of over two and a half years. This job was a test, to say the least. One of the biggest of my life, and one I can say I passed. I had to learn about overcoming negativity, staying strong in my convictions and values, trusting my intuition and simply trying to stay professional when you know some people you have to work with are up to no good. On August 19th, I wished everyone the best of luck, and said my goodbyes to those near and dear. I walked out that building with my head held high and ready for the next chapter in my life.

deskWhen I quit my job it wasn’t to start working for another company. I actually traded in my workstation for a student desk. I’m a full-time nursing student now. My days pretty much consist of going to class, homework, naps in between reading and intermittent social media breaks. For most, this would be a lovely transition. When I was in College the first time years ago, I stayed with a job. I was always juggling school and work. So yeah, I now enjoy being able to focus on one thing at a time. Especially with nursing school being the demand it already is.

Looking back, being able to work not only provided income, but, also a sense of independence. I was able to take care of my wants and needs without relying on anyone else. I was also able to help family and friends when funds permitted. Now, I’m in school with no job and recurring expenses (I’m a bit too bourgeoisie for the word bills). I’m the one who needs help. When I was accepted in the program, the school told us to hold off on working until schedules were finalized. Cool, but this school stuff is already stressful and it’s just the second week of classes. The thought of adding a job on top of that gives me a headache.

I’m doing my best not to worry and stress, but it’s not always easy to do so. I’m an adult having to rely on family to get by. Now, while they are willing and happy to help me out as they want to focus on my studies, it’s not what I had originally envisioned for myself. The thought of being an inconvenience and a burden to them has me on the verge of tears. My brain (which goes a mile a minute) and outside expectations don’t have me feeling too hot about myself right now. I don’t like these feelings and thoughts. They’re a distraction to the blessing and support from my family in the other room. I shouldn’t be worrying, I should be making the most of this time to focus on school and taking volunteer opportunities that I’ve been wanting to do for awhile now.

Who knows what these next couple of months will bring. I won’t focus on that too much right now as I need to take things one day at a time. Instead of being in my headI need to breath and immerse myself in this wonderful opportunity unfolding before me right now. Trying to walk in my purpose isn’t always easy but I know that my journey is just as important as the end result. So until I get there, I’ll just laugh when I can, scratch my head in wonder of life, and cry when I need to release. Most importantly, I’ll maintain faith and trust that everything is going as planned. Until next time,

 

4 comments on “The Beginning Is Always The Hardest?”

  1. “recurring expenses (I’m a bit too bourgeoisie for the word bills)” HA! Your writing is impeccable. You should write a book. Congratulations on making the leap, and I’m glad nursing school is working for you.

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